Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Reply to a set of Quora Questions

They say that if you are good at something, you should never do it for free. I try to follow this rule, but this isn't the first time I'm making an exception to try(albeit in vain) to ease my daily suffering. The amount of Quora curiosity on "IITians" as a species is killing me..and no, that does not make me a cat! So here are my humble offerings , in the safety of my own private blog, away from the answer-race on that extremely competitive forum.
Statutory warning: This is not for the weak of heart!Listed below are the questions that have ruined my peace of mind....along with my extremely caustic replies to them. So read on, if you dare!

To begin with, there are the dating advice questions:" What is it like to have an IITian for girlfriend or boyfriend or husband or wife or partner or ... or.....?"
Well, it is pretty damned good, from your perspective at least. See, they usually earn a lot and that is a huge plus point for someone as materialistic as you, I'd say. Honestly, give me one other good reason as to why you are so obscenely interested in the qualification of a person you are supposed to fall in love with! The question you really should be asking is "what is it like to have an IITian for an Ex?"See, IITians have this nasty habit of being smart, and they are likely to figure out the real reason you are with them at some point.

Moving on to more serious matters, this one caught my attention a while ago: "Why isn't there even a single IITian who is known for film-acting?"
Now, I am actually kind of sure that if we search well enough, we'll find an example. But answer me this dearest: why would anyone give up an assured income of 10lpa( relying on their brains) in order to struggle in a merciless, brutal industry armed with nothing but their physical appearance and luck? Yeah, I know you forgot that IITians are smart. But you'll find lots of IITian artists, musicians, directors, designers, etc because these professions require you to be good at something. Honestly, if I do ever consider taking up acting as a career, it'll be stage acting, not film, because that requires skill. We IITians rely on our skills, not on our looks. Its the smart thing to do.

Then there are those looking for motivation: "What made you work hard for getting into an IIT?"
Well, you see, here's the secret: About six months before JEE, a random set of 5000 odd kids have the same dream. A messiah comes and tells them 'Child, to be an IITian is thy destiny, and thou shalt follow this path laid out by the Lord, for only then shalt thee find out the truth behind cylinders rolling down inclines!' Honestly kid, what do you expect to hear? We realized that  its our future and we want this and that nothing comes for free. Its the same thing that motivates a footballer to not miss a penalty. Now here's my advice, take up football and practice hard, and someday you will have Pele appear in your dream like I said above :)

Now to move to more adult content, mirror mirror on the wall, who's the creepiest of them all? this one is truly scarring:"What is it like to have sex with an IITian?"
Am I to assume this is the newest fetish? Not that I am judging, but if that is what is on your mind while doing it, you should be asking your questions to a professional psychiatrist, not on Quora. No. I really don't have an answer that does justice to this question. I am just trying to get it out of my system...

Well, in order to ensure that I don't overwhelm my readers, I'll wrap it up with one last question. This one actually hurt me: "What is the best way to insult an IITian?"
Well my friend, you just did. You just called for public opinion on trying to humiliate us! Do you really hate us that much?If this was just for fun, then thank you for having fun at our expense. If it was for a specific vengeance, is their being an IITian what bothers you most? If this was because you are an IITian and think nobody can insult you, when was the last time you went to your department? But somehow I know, that it is the desperate need to prove to an IITian that they are not special, that they are just another regular person, that triggered this question. That is what hurts me.

Let me tell you a secret. We IITians know that we are not that special. None of us can guarantee that we'll clear JEE if we take it again. None of us assume that success in some competitive exam as a teenager makes us a separate species. We are better than average at logical reasoning and concentration. That's all we have to say for ourselves. Which is a hell of a lot less than Rafael Nadal or Salman Rushdie can say for themselves. So, that's all we want said about us. Please do us a favor and don't alienate us. Whether you worship us or detest us, all you do is create a barrier. Treat us with exactly the same respect that you have for that neighborhood boy who's a state level player or the kid who can juggle 6 eggs at a time. There are a lot less people who scale the Everest every year, let us all stand up and bow to them!


  1. :P eta chhara ar kichhu bolar nei
    but bhalo likhechis :D

  2. Haha this is gold. These guys really need a dose of sarcasm 101 to stop asking such stupid questions. I must say though, some people get an ego-boost by being asked such questions.

    1. probably they have a right to feel special after cracking JEE, but this just keeps getting more ridiculous everyday!

  3. Best way to insult an IITian guy...hahahaha that was THE funniest question ever!